A good relationship is not that you never get angry, upset or irritated with each other. It’s how fast you resolve and bounce back to normal.
Often after an argument or if we have been cheated, we feel hurt or let down, we choose to remain hurt or angry for hours, months, even years. We feel our hurt is justified, it was their mistake, they need to make things right or sometimes we even feel things can never be the same again. Irrespective of what had happened it takes only ONE thought to get back to normal.
The mind will ask questions, give it the answers:
(1) Why should I be doing it, it was their fault?
Because my relationship is more important than my ego.
(2) Why so soon, let them at least realise their mistake?
Because every passing moment is causing me and them pain and weakening our relationship.
(3) Will I be considered weak if I give in?
Forgiving, forgetting and moving on is strength, let me give myself and them that strength.
(4) If I become normal, will they do the same?
They may take their time, but if I get to normal, the process has begun and very soon they will get back to normal.
(5) Will I be taken for granted?
If people can take my love and care for granted, it’s my fortune. I have given them a reason to believe that I always love them.
There can be many questions, but we have the answer to every question if we have decided that our relationship is our priority, their happiness and our own happiness matters to us more than what was right or wrong.
Story from Ramayana about two enemy states – Ayodhya and Kishkindha
When Lord Ram was searching for his wife Sita whom the king of Lanka, Ravan had taken, he passed near Rishimuka mountain in Kishkindha (near present day Humpi in Karnataka) where Sugreev was living in exile. Bali the king of Kishkindha use to trouble Ram and his family in exile from time to time. Sugreev, who was the elder brother of Bali lived in exile because of some small dispute with his brother. He lived with his friend Hanuman. Bali had thrown out Sugreev from Kiskindha taking all his wealth and his wife too.
Although Ram and Bali belonged to enemy camps, Hanuman made friendship between Ram and Sugreev. Ram decided to forgive and forget the past as he wanted good relationship in the future. When they met, they took oath to help each other. Ram killed Bali and gave the kingdom of Kiskindha to Sugreev. So, he got his lost kingdom and his wife.
Maharaj Sugreev also sent his army in search of Sita. Hanuman searched that Sita was in Lanka in the kingdom of Ravan. So Sugreev went to Lanka with his army to help Ram to fight the great battle. Sugreev helped Ram with devotion and dedication with his army. Their true friendship is famous even today.