Dearest Nakuul,

Was raising you easy? Not by any means! Would I have it any other way? Never! I believe you have taught me the most because we often meet head on. You taught me patience, tolerance, acceptance, and a considerable amount of humility. I guess you have been a bit bias as you did not share these qualities with your Mum, for you have been possessive of her. Thank you, nevertheless. You also gave me great memories that I will always treasure. Your school admissions at every station that we served. Ferrying you to various competitions and classes. Three things I failed to make you proficient were swimming, riding and cycling.

Seven years ago, you began a new chapter that included an eternal partner – Jankee.

Every parent’s greatest fear is that their child will make the wrong decision when it comes to marriage. Though I met Jankee as late as your engagement time, I knew she was someone special. As I learnt about Jankee over the next few weeks I could see from the light in your eyes and the excitement in your voice that this girl had a powerful effect on you. You became happier and more confident in yourself. I watched the way she treated you and how she brought out the best in you. Later it was you who brought out the best in her… always complementing each other.

We couldn’t have chosen a more suitable young lady to be our daughter-in-law, Bahurani. Jankee, you are the light of the family!

A wedding day letter wouldn’t be complete without some advice on marriage. You are a beginner with just seven years, and we’ve had over 40 years of experience. So, this is what I have learned:

• The key to a long and happy marriage is to remember just two little words: Yes dear!
• Jankee will always have the last word in an argument. Any word that you add after that is by default the start of a new argument! (personal experience)
• Remember, when you buy flowers it proves you are guilty. However, the consequences of not buying flower are far more serious!

On a more serious note, here are nine tips that we have learnt from your marriage:

1. A Daily Phone Call – to say, “I love you,” to touch base, to discuss your day, to show you care.
2. A Weekly Date – to go out to eat, see a movie, attend a concert, go to a park, or anything to just be together. (I have yet to implement)
3. Daily Service – pay attention to what your partner is dealing with and lend a hand.
4. Listen – not only to what is said but also to what is meant.
5. Support Your Spouse – in righteous goals.
6. Forgive Each Other – let it go, admit you’re wrong, don’t hold grudges and never use the “Silent Treatment.”
7. Patience – for tardiness, missed meals, thoughtless remarks, or imperfections.
8. Soft and Kind Words – gentleness, compassion, kindness, empathy for each other.
9. Care About Your Spouse’s Family – enjoy their company, get to know them, visit them, overlook their differences.

Well, there you have it, your advice to having a long and happy marriage. Funny?

May you and Jankee have a wonderful, prosperous, exciting and happy life together.

With All My Love,

Kaka

Credit: Extracts from ‘A letter to my son on his wedding day’ by Gerold N Larson

Note:

They got married on ‘Vasant Panchami’ (fifth day of Spring) of the year 2012 on 28th January. It is one of the most auspicious day according to Hindu calendar. वसंत ऋतु का स्वागत करने के लिए  माघ महीने के पाँचवे दिन एक बड़ा जश्न मनाया जाता हे, जिसमें विष्णु और कामदेव की पूजा होती हे, यह वसंत पंचमी का त्यौहार कहलाता हे। इस दिन मां सरस्वती की पूजा की जाती है। पुरुष-महिलाएं पीले वस्त्र घारण करती है।